suddenlycaptain | CONTACT ;; ataraxion

If one more person asks about "space radiation" despite the subject having been gone over to death, I am going to jump out the airlock.

[ She won't, really. But ffs. ]

Perhaps you may find it reassuring that there is at least a legitimate concern among them.

[ sadly, this is spock trying to help ]

Not really, no. Not when we had to stop an attempted hijacking last jump while everyone was in a coma, when I have another cat because Data disappeared, and when we still don't know enough about this ship or this universe to plan much.

But the enthusiasm is good, I guess.

Have you considered the potential that we may never acquire the third item on your list?

Have you considered that without it, we might all die?

Respectfully, the potential for fatality exists regardless.
The initial crew of the Tranquility was far more familiar than ourselves, and of them, only two remain.

I'm aware. That's part of why I teach the classes, Spock.

But some of us aren't planning on going home no matter what, and we need that information. We need to know what the hell is going on here. We've been lucky so far.

At the present time, I have come to believe that the need for information and the need to achieve some semblance of stability in the form of control over this crew are at odds with one another. Maintaining a status quo and making continued efforts to keep passengers contained will not advance our understanding.

There is a presence on this ship that requires our participation. Without participation, we will have no answers.

And what stability would that be?

Spock, just speak plainly.

We cannot keep them safe.

I thought you said it wasn't futile.

I do not believe the effort is futile. Nor do I believe that the intention is without merit.

But we cannot expect success without also accepting a degree of failure.

I know more people are going to get hurt. I know more people are going to die.

Just... sometimes it seems like they're just throwing themselves away, not even trying to survive.

[ there's a lengthy pause before he replies- because the truth of the matter is that carolyn has nailed it straight off. people are throwing themselves away. and spock cannot yet discern how much of this he must accept as human nature, and necessity. without their loss, a great deal would remain unknown. it is reasonable- but unsatisfactory. ]

Yes. I am inclined to agree.

[ There's a difference between doing what has to be done and throwing yourself away. Carolyn knows that difference, has felt it, has died saving people instead of being reckless. Some of this is different, fueled by anger over death and captivity, not survival instincts or thoughts for other people. ]

Short of literally locking everything down, there's not much we can do if people don't listen, is there?

[ loss is ugly. there is no part of the experience, for either party, that is anything less. it is panic and fear, it is pain, and frustration- the distilled bitterness and concentrated bad of human experience. carolyn's intentions are noble, spock has never doubted this. she has a shadow to her eyes- one he has seen more times than he would desire to. ghosts that cannot be outrun. ]

There is not.
But it is not a failure on your part.

[ There are bodies behind her that are her fault, people she had been willing to let die to live. She had failed but so many of them had died anyway, all but three -- and according to Riddick, two died after she had. He's the only one left, the one she died for despite everything she'd been told and everything he'd said and done.

And he's the one telling her she's wasting her time (and maybe hidden under that is a message, that she'll end up dead again, but Carolyn doesn't hear it.) ]

This place makes me remember why I preferred small crews.

CONTACT ;; ataraxion

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